Students can be bullied in different ways. These can include:
- Physical bullying, such as being pushed, shoved, punched, tripped, or spat on, or being coerced into doing things against their will.
- Verbal bullying, such as being the subject of rumors, taunting, name-calling, threats, or receiving offensive notes or gestures.
- Relational bullying, including purposeful exclusion from activities, isolation from peers, intentional ignorance, harm to reputation, or posting derogatory comments or embarrassing images in public or online spaces.
- Deliberate damage to property, such as clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry.
Students can be bullied in various ways, which include:
1. Physical bullying: such as being pushed, shoved, punched, tripped, or spit on, and being forced to do things they do not want to do.
2. Verbal bullying: such as being the subject of rumors, taunting, being called names, being threatened, or receiving offensive notes or gestures.
3. Relational bullying: like being purposefully excluded from activities, isolated from peers, intentionally ignored, having one's reputation harmed, or having derogatory comments or embarrassing images posted in a public space or online.
4. Deliberate property damage, such as ruining clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry.
In middle school, your child may experience changes in social dynamics with their peers, including making new friends and facing bullying. It's important to understand the different roles adolescents play in bullying to prevent or address it. Children can witness, bully, or be bullied. They may also play multiple roles and could be bystanders who witness or experience bullying.
As a parent, you are your child’s number one protector. It’s up to you to recognize the warning signs of bullying. Not all children show warning signs, but if you notice any of the following, it might be that they’re being bullied:
Your child has unexplained injuries.
If they have "lost" or had destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry.
If they have frequent headaches or stomach aches, or often feel sick or fake illness.
If you notice changes in their eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating.
If they have difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares.
If they have declining grades.
If they have a loss of interest in schoolwork or don’t want to go to school.
If they have a sudden loss of friends or avoid social situations.
If they have feelings of helplessness or decreased self-esteem.
If they engage in self-destructive behaviors, such as running away from home, harming themselves, or talking about suicide.
While no parent wishes for their child to engage in bullying behavior, it is important to remain aware of potential signs. Your child may be involved in bullying if they:
- Engage in physical or verbal altercations
- Associate with peers who exhibit bullying behaviors
- Display increasing levels of aggression
- Have frequent encounters with school authorities
- Acquire unexplained possessions or extra money
- Shift blame onto others or fail to take responsibility for their actions
- Express significant concern about their social status or popularity
To help your child understand bullying, engage them in open discussions about what bullying entails and how to safely confront it. Encourage your child to share any instances of bullying they may have witnessed, experienced, or heard about. Keep the lines of communication open by regularly checking in with your child, actively listening to their thoughts, getting to know their friends, and understanding their school experiences. Equip them with the knowledge of how to react if they encounter bullying and ensure they are aware of who to contact at school in the event of bullying.
If your child is involved in bullying:
As a parent, you are your child’s number one protector. It’s up to you to recognize the warning signs of bullying. Not all children show warning signs, but if you notice any of the following, it might be that they’re being bullied:
To determine if this is bullying, consider the following:
- What is the history between the kids involved?
- Is there a power imbalance?
- Has this happened before? Is your child worried it will happen again?
- Have the children dated?
- Are any of the kids involved with a gang?
If your child is being bullied:
Listen and focus on your child, assure them that bullying is not their fault, and consider seeking help from a school counselor or mental health service if needed. Work with the child, other parents, and the school to resolve the situation and protect the child. Remember to never tell the child to ignore the bullying, not blame them for being bullied, and to avoid physical confrontation. Contact school or other officials for mediation instead of reaching out to other parents.
1. Seek help from an adult, friend, or classmate in a threatening situation.
2. Be assertive with the bully without being aggressive.
3. Use humor to deflect threats.
4. Avoid unsafe places and walk away from potential bullying.
5. Own a belittling comment to diffuse it.
6. Walk with friends or a small group.
7. Use positive self-talk to maintain self-esteem.
8. Remain outwardly calm when bullied to avoid empowering the bully.
Encourage your child to:
1. Defend the target of the bullying.
2. Intervene as a group with other students.
3. Change the subject to divert attention.
4. Question the bullying behavior.
5. Use humor to lighten the situation.
6. Openly object to bullying.
7. Show approval of the victim.
If they're not comfortable intervening, they can:
1. Reach out to the target to express support.
2. Report the bullying to a trusted adult.
3. Reach out to the bully if they feel safe to do so.
4. Model kindness and respect.
As a parent of a middle school child, it's important to be aware of the transition from childhood to adolescence. This is a time when children become more independent, value friendships and social circles, and may be vulnerable to bullying. In 2019, about 28% of 6th-, 7th-, and 8th-graders reported being bullied at school. It's important to know the warning signs and understand how to address and handle bullying.